I Don’t!

Does anyone else think that finding true love in college is a bunch of bs?! No, just me? I have put a lot of thought into this, and with engagement season just around the corner I thought it might be time to vent my grievances with those happy couples that post about how special their significant other is. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure your sweetie really is the bestest pooky bear on the planet, but forgive me if I am cynical I think valentines day and even just relationships on social media in general are ridiculous. If you are in a relationship good for you I am proud that you have enough gumption at our age to take care of yourself and an adult man child. Some of us like myself are bad at multitasking so forgive me if I won’t be dating anyone anytime soon.

I’m in my final semester at college and the only thing that I have really learned about relationships in college at this point is it’s a lot like being under house arrest. You can’t go anywhere or do anything without your significant other texting you or calling you or reminding you to stay safe babe, translation: don’t talk to other men while I am not with you because you are my world. Please, don’t make me vomit. “Hill, do you have a boyfriend?” No, I don’t.

One might argue that I am cynical because I have been single for far too long. Truthfully you may be right, but then again I haven’t really found anyone worthy to date. I think dating should be taken seriously I’m not one to just be in a relationship for shits and gigs. It’s unfair to the person that wants to actually put something into the relationship and trust me when I say I just don’t have that kind of time. “But, Hill, you should at least see what’s out there and explore your surroundings.” In response to that I can tell you I won’t.

I think I have seen and dealt with quite enough to last a life time at this point. The old saying you have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince is hilarious to me. I’d rather kiss a frog than deal with a pampered pretty boy who probably still has frequent phone calls with mommy asking when he should be home for her to do his laundry. As adorable as I find that scenario it just doesn’t seem like one that I would want to be apart of. What can I say I don’t need or want anyone to give me that kind of moral support. I am doing quite well on my own thanks and I have for twenty one years. While I would love to be able to hold your hand and walk you through the necessary steps to becoming husband material I can tell you now I do not have that kind of time. You see I am most likely busy brushing my hair or something else that is way more important than training you for some other woman to enjoy. So sorry I can’t.

So ladies in response to thinking that you are going to for sure find your future husband in college I can tell you with certainty that chances are you won’t. If it gets to the point where a guy pressures you in anyway let him know that he can’t and if you think that falling in love with someone this young seems like a good idea… don’t. I now pronounce you single for life.