Perfectly Miserable

This week has been perfectly miserable. For those of you that don’t want to join in the pity party I am about to throw myself please feel free to exit this post now, but if you are in the mood to sit and wallow in my crap with me please read on because have I got a treat for you. I guess it’s times like these that I really just need to blog to get it off my chest so that it doesn’t eat me alive because trust me I am a professional when it comes to wallowing in self-pity, and I am willing to bet that many of us are so here goes nothing. Let’s start with Monday!

Monday some of you may argue is already miserable, HELLO HILLARY! However, I think this week was a really special Monday because it happened to be crappier than usual. I found out that something I have invested in for the past two or so months has literally just been a colossal waste of my time and energy. Pretty much anytime I try to pursue any form of a relationship it turns into a relationshit real damn fast and that isn’t even a joke. Even if it is still kind of funny. As usual my expectations were clearly proven to be too high. LIFE: 5 HILLARY: 0

Tuesday was fine other than the fact that my Bender boyfriend and I finally broke up due to the lovely parking ticket on my car windshield, fun fact I park by the RLC and call him my boyfriend because I was getting away with parking there for at least two or three months without a ticket, but what do you know my kill streak has finally ended. Wednesday was nice when I was in the bathroom from three in the morning until six dealing with the “EBOLA” or as most of you call it the stomach flu. I spent most of the day in bed and had to call into work. Bless my beautiful friends for getting me medicine and sick supplies, Whitney Broghammer comes in clutch yet again. Shannon Fynardt also brought me Advil so shout out to her as well.

By Thursday I thought I was in the clear, lol just kidding. I came out of the gym Thursday to another parking ticket because I had literally parked one row back from where I should have. Apparently my sense of surroundings and direction still hasn’t improved. I felt like crap all of Thursday night and to be honest it was just one of those times where you are miserable and you really just want your mom and that was a really crappy reality check that I had to face. I called some people and they listened to my mental breakdown instead so all in all I made it through that hiccup.

Friday wasn’t bad and I had a fun night out with my girls to dinner and then later tried to hit the hill which was a major shit show if you know what I mean. There were so many people that my friend and I decided to just go chill at her boyfriend’s place instead of dealing with all the drunken masses. Tonight I did homework for most of my night because I gave away my Jason Aldean concert tickets to friends that were bigger fans. I only bought them as an excuse really to hang out with a frat boy so really I guess in some ways it kind of worked out. At least someone got to go and have a fun night. So here I am at practically the end of the week and the only thing that really has me excited is the fact that in exactly one month I turn the big 21! Which to me is kind of sad that that’s the highlight of my week but hey what are you going to do.

So I had a perfectly miserable week, but as it turns out the people in my life are pretty great and they picked me right up. Its times like this that I realize how truly blessed I am to have the people in my life that I do. This week was definitely one of my worst, and they took it in stride which is a lot to ask. One of my friends comes home for Easter this coming week from Michigan so it will be fun to finally get to catch up and do it right. I know that life isn’t always flowers and sunshine, but man do I really hope next week is. Here’s looking forward to a better week. As always stay golden and know that if you ever want someone to wallow in self- pity with you I’m your girl.

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The Later Girl

A lot of things in life that we consider to be great come later. We say that good things come to those who wait, or don’t wish for it wait for it and the right things will eventually come to be. Well, I call BS on the whole thing. In reality waiting around doesn’t get you very far. Waiting to lose weight, waiting for a guy to like you, and even waiting for an apology can be things that we will never see happen if we don’t take the initiative to make them possible. With where I am at in my life right now it always seem like impending adult responsibility is just waiting to kick my ass. I know a lot of people are freaked out about the future, but as it turns out I am not one of those fools. I know what I want out of life and I know that hard work is going to be the thing that gets me there, but that doesn’t stop me from ranting about stupid people on my blog now does it?!

I guess I am tired of being treated like a second option to people I put first. I don’t appreciate being put on the back burner. It’s like people seem to think that they can apologize to me later for being a crappy friend, date me later because I’m not one of those girls looking for Mr. Right NOW, or even get in touch with me later because honestly I’m just here to cater to other people and their whims. If you thought any of that was true you really don’t know me very well. I’m to the point where I don’t have time for meaningless crap in my life. I don’t want to be toyed with or used for my friendship or just in general. To these people I am the “Later Girl”. I am that one that will always be there waiting because that’s just what I do, wait for people to make time for me. I wait until it is convenient for them to decide they really want me to be there for them or vise versa.

Don’t get me wrong I will wait all day if I see potential. If I know that I am not just wasting my time I will put I the extra time it takes to make it work. Being a “Later Girl” sucks because I know that people mentally set me aside for when its convenient for them. To most men I am not a dateable option for this reason. I don’t care on that score, to be honest dating someone just to have someone there is stupid. It cheapens the real deal and when you have the real deal you put in the extra time it takes to make sure it is right.

Here’s the thing, for some people setting me aside for later might work for you, but I never said that it worked for me. I am not someone to be exploited for personal gain. Realize that I am not an object for you to use I am a person with value and feelings a concept many seem to have lost over time. I don’t have to wait around for things to happen I can make things happen in my life if I want them to. You can save me for later, but that doesn’t mean I have to save you for later. Sometimes that ship has sailed.