The internet has made many things unrealistic. Everyday we see things that make us think the world is one way and then we end up realizing it is not completely true. One of the things that has been severely affected by the internet is expectations. The ones that we have for ourselves and for other people are now at an all time high. In some ways we have created this ideal world where everything is perfect, our lives are perfect, our bodies must be perfect, and our love life has to be perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist! I am tired of people thinking that it does and being held up next to something that doesn’t exist. This world that I am now being forced to be apart of is not real. It is unrealistic for anyone to think of me in that way.

I don’t always say the right things in real life. My body is not perfect and while it’s still a work in progress it will never be the ideal shape that everyone thinks it should be. Sorry I am human and this was how I was made. I can work hard and try everything possible to look my best, but at the end of the day me being a size two, having six pack abs, and a full bust will probably never be a thing. Stretch marks on the other hand seem to be a common trait for many of us. I wouldn’t want to look like a barbie anyway because that isn’t who I am anyway. I have goals that I want to accomplish. For instance I want to run a marathon so I am trying to start cutting some of the weight that I gained in Europe, but I know that I don’t have to look like a super model to be strong.

My love life doesn’t exist currently, but if it did I don’t think it would look the way that girls try to make it out to be on the internet. I don’t want someone that kisses the ground beneath my feet. When did men become doormats that only exist to buy us gifts? I must have missed that lesson in school or something because last time I checked they don’t notice anything and they don’t care. They never notice hints no matter how many you leave them. You spend all of your time and energy waiting for this perfect guy, one that will buy you a pair of Nike’s and write you the perfect note, but we all know that those girls bought themselves shoes and then wrote that note,  no guy has handwriting that good sorry.

It’s frustrating because these girls that have these expectations are the ones that continuously ruin it for the rest of us. I don’t expect a guy I date to be perfect I’m flawed so why shouldn’t he be. He doesn’t have to have the perfect body, or always say the perfect thing, and he definitely doesn’t have to worship at my feet, all  of the time, but knowing that someone cared about me as much as I did about them is what is truly important. I think this is why people feel the need to talk to more than one person at once. The girls that talk to five guys at once always make me mad. Friend zoned or not you are giving most of those guys the expectation that you are talking to only them, and that they matter to you as much as you might to them. I know that guys do this too, but I don’t see the point of focusing your energies on more than one person. If I want to get to know someone and truly get to know them I think they should have my undivided attention or none at all. it’s unfair to make them think otherwise.

Sometimes I think people forget what reality really is. I guess I am just sick of people wanting perfection because I know that it doesn’t exist. So as usual I am going to give my advice even if you don’t want to hear it. Your body is beautiful no matter what size you are. Don’t be content with your body if you don’t love it do something about it, but don’t hate yourself for now having six pack abs. In my personal experience only the freaks of nature can eat what they want and never gain weight. Most of us aren’t them so cut yourself some slack once in awhile. No guy actually cares if you get all dressed up to see them, you have to dress up for yourself or no one at all. It doesn’t matter if you have feelings for someone if they don’t for you, you will just end up disappointed if you dwell on it. Don’t dwell on it be friends and if it’s meant to be it will be. Know that guys have it just as rough as girls. Some of us have set unrealistic expectations for them and most of them will probably never measure up. If such a guy exists that kisses your butt and he’s “PERFECT” well he sounds like a pussy and I don’t want to meet him anyway.

Life is messy, it’s not perfect if you live it to the fullest it can be the scariest and greatest journey that any of us have ever been on.There will be bumps in the road. No road worth traveling is ever smooth and easy to travel upon. I guess you could say that life as tragic as it is beautiful truly is REALISTIC.


Call me Maybe

When I can’t quit dwelling I know that it is time to blog it out. This week is no exception, but my topic may be a little different than my European adventures. Instead I am going to write about my girly ones. The one thing that I have noticed about myself is I always manage to mess up social situations between myself and the opposite sex. I usually refer to this melodrama as “Being a Girl”. Most girls flip out over every little thing that guys do, and I have definitely been in their shoes. I am not sure why we feel the need to flip out about everything because chances are the guys either haven’t noticed or don’t really care. To be fair though life would be so much easier if they would just pick up on the “HINTS” that girls leave and save us all the trouble of freaking out. It’s times like now that I really hate living in the decade that I do. What is the deal with couples being a “Thing”? NO! If you are a thing with someone you’re basically dating just call it what it is. I also have found that while I can’t vouch for every girl I know most of us are masters at over analyzing the crap out of everything.

It’s still weird trying to figure out how to navigate this whole college thing. I have never really been in a serious relationship and usually I don’t care, and in many ways I still really don’t. It really just kills me that I can’t figure out how to flirt with poise and dignity. I always manage to make it awkward or boring or God forbid both. I absolutely hate to text people. I really don’t know how to social media. If it weren’t so embarrassing it would almost be funny. I never can quite make myself not talk about books, politics, nerdy things, and in general any topic that completely turns people off. The last party I went to people thought my cousin and I were trying to become a thing because I can’t talk to people that I’m not related to without going full on tard or insulting them in some way. Shout out to my main gal pal MARTHA! However, this doesn’t change the fact that I am still a disappointment to the way’s of 2015. Why are there so many rules? I don’t even understand half of them, and I’m a communications major that’s a little sad.

I guess what I’m trying to say is college hasn’t really taught me how to be normal. I am still socially awkward and even though I’m not shy, I’m also not good with words. I wish it could be like the eighties where people had to actually talk on the phone and go out on dates to get to know each other. The whole concept of texting someone seems like a foreign language to me. I never know if what I am saying is being read in the correct tone of voice that I meant it to be read in, or if people even get my awkward sense of humor, most of the time they don’t. I’m going full on girl and someone should just save me from myself. I guess what I’m trying to say is “Call me Maybe”.

I’m Back Baby

As many of you may know I am finally back home. I meant to blog sooner, but with the holidays keeping me so busy I haven’t really had the time to sit down and write. There are many things that I have noticed since I have returned to the United States that may actually surprise some of you. It’s strange because before I never would have noticed any of these things. I am really loving being home, but I am starting to miss Europe already, and I can’t wait to one day go back and see how much everything has changed since I left.

One thing that I noticed is that here in the U.S. we don’t really conserve energy. I don’t know if it is because we think we don’t have to because we have so many natural resources or what the deal is, but I have been extremely annoyed that there are no recycling bins next to the trash cans here. That alone would conserve so much and we aren’t doing it. In some ways I think that Europe has changed my outlook on some things and strengthened my resolve in other areas. I have never really thought about recycling before, but there they have recycling bins next to the trash cans in every public place. So say I bought a water bottle I could then recycle it instead of throwing it away. That isn’t the only thing.

Perhaps the greatest invention man has ever made has been making my life ten times easier since I have returned. That invention, the drier. It is so nice not to have to hang dry absolutely all of my clothing. I know it seems dumb but I have never been more thankful to have dry clothes in thirty minutes. Not that I dry all of my clothing, but not having to hang dry my socks has been amazing. That is one thing I do not miss about being abroad.

Another thing that has really been fun for me is to rediscover the American culture. The holidays were filled with amazing food and of course tons of Christmas movies! It’s great to be home and to see friends both old and new. I am getting antsy to get back to UNI and start the Spring semester. For now I am enjoying the rest of break by spending time binge watching Netflix and of course being a book worm. Here’s to 2015 being a great New Year.

I’m Back Baby

As most of you know I am now back from Europe, and with all of the craziness from the holidays I haven’t really had time to sit down and blog since I have been back. Well, I figured it was time to dust off the old laptop and fill you all in on a few things. I have noticed a lot of differences since I have gotten back to America. I am already starting to miss Europe, and I can’t wait to go back one day and see how much things have changed. For now though I have been enjoying being home and here are a few things I have noticed.

The first thing I have noticed is that recycling really isn’t a thing here. When I was in the airport in Chicago there was not a recycling bin to be found. At least none in plain sight that I could find. In Europe they have a recycling bin next to almost every trash can. This makes recycling so much more convenient. I don’t know if we don’t think we have to because we have so many natural resources or what, but I think that is one thing we should be doing. I have found that in some ways being abroad has changed my perspective on some things and strengthened my resolve in other areas.

The one thing that I have been loving since I have been back is in my opinion the greatest invention man has ever created. This remarkable invention is, the drier. I can not even begin to describe how nice it is to not have to hang dry my clothes. Having dry clothes in thirty minutes feels like a miracle. Not having to hang dry my socks may have been the best Christmas present ever.

I think the best part of being home though was rediscovering my home and some of the good ole’ American culture. The food and festivities over the holidays were amazing, but like most people it is a new year so it’s time to buckle down and get back to work. I am starting to get a little antsy to go back to school. I don’t know if I am ready for the Spring Semester to start because I have been enjoying binge watching Netflix, reading like the nerd I am, and catching up with friends both old and new. Like all good things break will eventually come to an end, and I’m excited to see what 2015 has in store for me. I’m back baby and I can’t wait to see what my next adventure will be!