I Can’t

Lately it seems like I have been writing a lot of deep pieces on my blog. Things that I think about that I believe have changed my outlook on life etc. Well, it is time to cut the sob story and get down to some actual girl issues, and let me tell you I have a lot of them.

First of all let’s just take a minute to appreciate the fact that I am single and obviously ready to mingle. One of the biggest issues here is there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of mingling going on. Not that I haven’t been around guys, but as usual instead of being a normal human being I have to go into full on tard mode. THAT’S AWESOME! So basically for those of you who don’t know tard mode is it’s when your brain kind of shuts down when you’re trying to have a conversation with someone cute. Ergo it’s not that opportunity hasn’t presented itself. I’m usually just too busy being an idiot to actually get to know anyone. Plus no one wants to talk to someone that has resting bitch face and apparently I do. STRIKE TWO!  Honestly if I can’t find something to talk about you know it’s bad because I never shut up.

Second what is with this weather! I just want to go outside and tan. The weather is beyond pissing me off. Thanks I can finally wear a cute swimming suit without looking like a whale…. just kidding its flash flooding. I’m not a duck so I am not enjoying the weather at all. Furthermore we had enough snow this winter to last a life time. So what summer has to show up winter in the never ending battle of let’s see how much we can ruin the holidays for everyone. Side bar I won’t be going floating for the fourth and I am definitely bitter.

Thirdly can I just say that this whole not looking cute ever thing is kind of cramping my style. At school I at least get to dress nice because I am around people I want to impress. The only time I actually get to dress up is on the weekend and most of the time I am too busy watching Netflix like a boss to bother with all of that drama. The only time I ever look good is if I am going to church and not to sound rude but old people really don’t care what you wear to church because they are too busy critiquing the sermon to care.

Finally the last thing that I seem to be having issues with is studying. Honestly this summer class is going to be the death of me. I hate studying and forgive me if I am of the opinion that school doesn’t actually measure someone’s intelligence. I know a lot of stupid book smart people. Yes I’m excited you got an A on your chemistry exam now can you sit down and be an actual person for ten seconds because no one actually cares about the periodic table. I truthfully just need a break from life for like a month. If I could go into hibernation I think now would be a great time because lately I just can’t even.

Summer is flying by and before I know it, it will be time to go to Italy. If I am leaving for Italy in August I should probably get it together between now and then. My response to that is easier said than done. For now I am blogging because really who doesn’t like avoiding their problems with the internet.

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Moving Away and Moving On

There are so many times that I have wanted to move away from Iowa. It isn’t because I don’t like Iowa. Actually, I love it here, but there is also a lot of pain and memories here that I sometimes just don’t want to face. The whole fight or flight thing is really an important concept when you think about it. The only time that it doesn’t affect you is when you are secure. I know that once I am done with school I will be moving out of state. Not just because I want to spread my wings a little bit, but also because somehow I know that my future is not in Iowa. I know that I need to leave to explore who I am and what I am capable of. It might not make sense to everyone, but really it doesn’t have to.

This summer I am kind of learning a little bit about being on my own. Granted I am surrounded by my mom’s family almost all of the time because I am living with my aunt and uncle just outside of Norway, Iowa, but it is a lot different than I thought it would be. I actually like being on my own and making my own decisions. In some ways I am ready for full blown adult responsibility, but in other ways I am definitely not in any way shape or form ready for what comes next. It has definitely been eye opening to say the least. In other words don’t take your parents for granted because they actually do a lot for you.

I am also starting to learn a little more about the kind of people that I want to surround myself with. I don’t want to be around people that make me feel bad about who I am or who I was. I like being around people that understand the things that I am going through. The girls who I have known my whole life, but never really got to hang out with because they were so far away have been nothing but awesome. I am jealous that I never had friends like that growing up. Most of them have been friends with each other since elementary school and still to this day are. There are very few people that can actually say that. Truthfully I am so grateful that I have people like that in my life right now. It means that they are loyal and they aren’t going to leave just because things get tough.

 Many of the people in the community here felt the loss of my mom just as hard as my family because truthfully everyone in Norway is related. Not that my community back home didn’t it’s just different for me because I didn’t grow up here and the support being given is still unimaginable. Some days are better than others like it is most of the time, but living where she grew up for the summer almost makes me feel closer to her. It doesn’t stop the constant ache of missing her, but it does make it a little easier knowing I am not the only one who does miss her.

For the summer Norway is my home just like it has always been my second home from the time I was little. Going to Grandpa and Grandma Schulte’s every weekend was the best part of my childhood and it’s starting to look like it may even be one of the best parts of my adulthood. I am still planning on living out of state when I finally do get my degree, but I know that if I ever decide to come back to Iowa I have people here that I can count on to be there. It isn’t always easy leaving home and trying something new but I can honestly say I am thankful that I did. 

Sweet Summertime

Summer time is here and I am not going to lie I have been slacking on my blogging duties. I know that all of you that read my blog have been waiting for some of usual insight about summer and the meaning of life, ergo my usual ranting. Well I don’t want to disappoint so here goes nothing. This summer is already halfway over and to be honest I am so not ready for it to be. Italy is in less than three months and not going to lie it is kind of freaking me out… but in a good way. I have had so many adventures it would be hard for me to tell you about all of them, so I will stick to the good stuff.

This summer I am living in Norway. I absolutely love it because I get to spend time with my some of my favorite people. I have been working for my aunt as a nanny for the little darlings and for a lady named Sally in Iowa City. She is probably the coolest boss ever and you will definitely not find anyone sweeter than her. I am also taking sign language a Kirkwood. I don’t know why I thought a night class from six to nine thirty sounded like a good plan, but hey I am surviving it so really I can’t complain… too much.

The best part of my summer so far was my trip to Cozumel, Mexico with 21 of the coolest people I have ever met. I had a blast with everyone. It’s kind of impossible not to bond with people when you get stranded with them in Atlanta for the night due to some interesting flight delays. By the way shout out to Aly Oberdries, yes I packed my undergarments in my carry-on and yes you are a genius. Also I have a feeling that all of us were a little peeved that Delta messed up our plans. E26 we will all curse you forever sorry about it.

I think the best part of the trip was probably meeting new friends from down south. You never know what kind of people you are going to run into and I am very glad that I did run into our new friends from Arkansas. Not to mention I am also very jealous that they don’t have a winter from Hell like we do in Iowa. There was so much to do in Mexico that I was a little sad to leave, but truly it was good to be back in good old Merica. The first thing I think everyone did was slop some American food and let me tell you I definitely recommend “Five Guys” to anyone anywhere. Definitely one of the top five best cheeseburgers I have ever eaten, just saying.

I think one of the best parts of Mexico and of summer in general is tanning. Let’s be honest here girls we all know that tan fat is better than pale fat and that is just the honest truth. Besides all that though I am beyond excited to go floating on the fourth. The fourth of July cannot get here soon enough in my opinion. The best part of the fourth is baseball and fireworks and no one does it better than Watkins, Iowa. Okay so maybe I am a little biased, but in all truth my favorite memories are from “Bigger and Better” and I am sure that this summer will be no exception.

I am having a marvelous summer and I truly can’t wait for the rest of it to unfold. The best part is getting to sit back and enjoy the ride wherever it decides to take us. I am not ready for school to start just yet…. I don’t really know if anyone ever really is ready for school to start though. That is all I have to report on for now, but fair warning I will be back and blogging again soon. Stay golden and enjoy your summer J