Men are From Mars

Let’s just cut to the chase. This post is for all of the ladies out there that have no idea what in the heck men are doing. I am in the same boat as you and I am here to give you some advice on how to deal with these kinds of things. I have found ways around my awkwardness and you know what girls so can you. With some simple guidance you can eventually understand what in the heck goes on in their brains. You may even find that you can actually carry on a conversation with them instead of just staring at their hotness… hey it happens. Do not be discouraged if at first you don’t succeed, because trust me when I say you will definitely embarrass yourself again.

                The first thing that always confuses me about guys is their strange obsession with sports. When we watch the football game both of us are thinking two completely different things. Men for example are probably wondering how in God’s name the Broncos could possibly have played any worse in the Super bowl, and I am sitting there wondering how they get those pants to fit the players like a glove. Why do they care so much about sports? Don’t ask me I really am no expert I am just telling you about my life experiences. Contrary to popular belief this is actually my first Rodeo.

                The second thing that confuses me about guys is how they text. Why do they text you the way that they text you? Why never talk to me in person, but then text me? That makes so much sense. My personal favorite thing that they do when they text you is barely say three words. If I just sent you a paragraph I expect at least six words back sir. I worked hard on that text and even if I am a chatterbox it would be much appreciated if you would send me some more language. How about why they text you? What in the name of all that is holy made you decide to text me? Is it possible you made a mistake and texted the wrong person? Side note that has happened to me more times than you think… depressing I know.

                The third thing that confuses me is guys in relationships. Honestly I feel like they are just as bad as girls are when it comes to dating crappy people. Guys always say that girls date jerks. This may be true. However, guys are just as likely to date the triple threat. The triple threat is the all-around psychotic girlfriend. Pay attention ladies, this may be you or someone you know.

The triple threat is always a jealous girl. She will freak out if a guy talks to other girls, texts other girls, looks at other girls, you get the picture. She is very crazy in group settings if you are a single girl hanging around her boyfriend just get out while you can because just know that she already hates you for existing. This girl is also typically nasty to a guy’s friends. She will make excuses for why she doesn’t like them or why they are mean. Maybe they just think she is crazy… newsflash she is. The final thing that makes her especially irresistible and hard to dump is the fact that she will do anything for the guy she is dating. When I say anything I mean anything. To this girl nothing is off limits. All I am going to say is guys need limits, if they don’t have them you have nothing else to build on. Usually I would say that girls date jerks, but guys are not all innocent on that end of the spectrum.

                Regardless of how much we understand them or not men and women will never look at the world the same. There is nothing you can do to understand men better except maybe be one, but I heard that requires extensive plastic surgery and it can be pricy. Really all you can do is roll with it and see where the things you discover take you. Don’t be afraid to explore your options and remember as much as you embarrass yourself in the process it will all be worth it in the end if you find someone worth embarrassing yourself for.


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