Men are From Mars

Let’s just cut to the chase. This post is for all of the ladies out there that have no idea what in the heck men are doing. I am in the same boat as you and I am here to give you some advice on how to deal with these kinds of things. I have found ways around my awkwardness and you know what girls so can you. With some simple guidance you can eventually understand what in the heck goes on in their brains. You may even find that you can actually carry on a conversation with them instead of just staring at their hotness… hey it happens. Do not be discouraged if at first you don’t succeed, because trust me when I say you will definitely embarrass yourself again.

                The first thing that always confuses me about guys is their strange obsession with sports. When we watch the football game both of us are thinking two completely different things. Men for example are probably wondering how in God’s name the Broncos could possibly have played any worse in the Super bowl, and I am sitting there wondering how they get those pants to fit the players like a glove. Why do they care so much about sports? Don’t ask me I really am no expert I am just telling you about my life experiences. Contrary to popular belief this is actually my first Rodeo.

                The second thing that confuses me about guys is how they text. Why do they text you the way that they text you? Why never talk to me in person, but then text me? That makes so much sense. My personal favorite thing that they do when they text you is barely say three words. If I just sent you a paragraph I expect at least six words back sir. I worked hard on that text and even if I am a chatterbox it would be much appreciated if you would send me some more language. How about why they text you? What in the name of all that is holy made you decide to text me? Is it possible you made a mistake and texted the wrong person? Side note that has happened to me more times than you think… depressing I know.

                The third thing that confuses me is guys in relationships. Honestly I feel like they are just as bad as girls are when it comes to dating crappy people. Guys always say that girls date jerks. This may be true. However, guys are just as likely to date the triple threat. The triple threat is the all-around psychotic girlfriend. Pay attention ladies, this may be you or someone you know.

The triple threat is always a jealous girl. She will freak out if a guy talks to other girls, texts other girls, looks at other girls, you get the picture. She is very crazy in group settings if you are a single girl hanging around her boyfriend just get out while you can because just know that she already hates you for existing. This girl is also typically nasty to a guy’s friends. She will make excuses for why she doesn’t like them or why they are mean. Maybe they just think she is crazy… newsflash she is. The final thing that makes her especially irresistible and hard to dump is the fact that she will do anything for the guy she is dating. When I say anything I mean anything. To this girl nothing is off limits. All I am going to say is guys need limits, if they don’t have them you have nothing else to build on. Usually I would say that girls date jerks, but guys are not all innocent on that end of the spectrum.

                Regardless of how much we understand them or not men and women will never look at the world the same. There is nothing you can do to understand men better except maybe be one, but I heard that requires extensive plastic surgery and it can be pricy. Really all you can do is roll with it and see where the things you discover take you. Don’t be afraid to explore your options and remember as much as you embarrass yourself in the process it will all be worth it in the end if you find someone worth embarrassing yourself for.

Dear Personal Wellnes… I HATE you

                Have you ever had a class or a seminar of some kind that you just really don’t want to go to. That one class that makes you want to just scream in frustration because you don’t know if you can pay attention for one more minute. The class that I am talking about here at UNI is Personal Wellness. If you have ever read my tweets on Twitter you know just how much I enjoy this class. Bottom line, I don’t.

                Every day I have eight am class and let me tell you by the time I have Personal Wellness at ten on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I am ready to slit my wrists. I know that is melodramatic it’s supposed to be. Because believe me that class is so boring it would probably make it interesting if I actually did. One day for example it took our teacher fifteen minutes to start the class because she was explaining something about the website. That would have been all well and good if she hadn’t done this every day for the first three days of the semester. Let me tell you by the second week you are at your wits end with her explaining everything again like you are in kindergarten and have no idea what school even is.

                I have considered skipping this class multiple times because honestly it is probably the easiest class ever. It is basically like a more detailed version of the health class that you had to take in high school. Only I have the most boring teachers in existence. Can you at least make it exciting for me to come to class instead of having me sit there praying for it to be over? I am not saying that the topic we are talking about is interesting, because honestly it isn’t, but do you have to talk in the most monotone voice that you possibly can? Do you have to drone on and on when we grasp the concept? Actually just done with this class and we aren’t even to midterm….help!

We All Fall Down

  If I was going to tell you the truth I would say this, what you did could have killed me inside, but I didn’t let you win. If I was going to tell the truth, I would tell you that being alone does not hurt as bad as when someone doesn’t return your same feelings. If I was going to tell you the truth, I would tell you that it hurt like hell to have most of the people I trusted betray my trust in them. If I was going to tell you the truth, I would tell you that I regret it all, but you know what, when it comes down to it I would rather lie.

I would rather tell myself I am okay, because maybe if I do it often enough it will start to be true. Maybe if I would have seen him for what he really was, from the beginning I would not have been trapped in an unhappy relationship for longer than a week. If we are being honest that is how fast it took me to realize I had made a mistake, admitting it to myself and everyone else took a lot longer than a week. Forgiving him well that still is a work in progress.

I would rather ignore the fact that I care for someone who is in love with someone else, and he probably always will be. I don’t pretend to know why I can’t let it go, but for some unknown reason I can never see myself as being good enough. I am not alone because I have to be I am alone because I want to be. No one will ever fill the void until I decide to let it heal. Right now stuck in Iowa, stuck in college, just stuck in general, it is not going to heal until I am long gone.

I would rather pretend we are still friends than tell everyone the truth. Most of the people that I considered my friends screwed me over. They stopped talking to me or they decided it would be easier to hate me rather than actually be there for me. High school is long over and I am not the girl I once was. Which means that I no longer have to take anyone’s shit especially theirs. I have two truly good friends and that is more than a lot of people can say.

It is interesting to realize how much we lie to ourselves and others on a regular basis. As women we think it makes us weak to admit that we are hurting. I know because I am just as guilty of it as the rest of our sex. We don’t have to be “FINE” all the time. I might tell you I am, but if you are truly my friend you know me better than that. In fact you know me better than I even know myself, and it is for that reason that you know I am lying to you and to myself.

As women we have gotten very good at lying. Maybe we do it to protect the ones we love. We don’t want them to see us in pain because it causes them pain. But you know something, in life we all fall down. We all feel sadness. We have all loved someone who didn’t really care, and we have all put our trust in those who did not deserve it in the first place. No one has ever made it out of life without a few scars. No one’s life is truly perfect even if it may look that way to us. We are all fighting different battles not just with other people, but we are also fighting against ourselves.

It is in our nature to dislike pain, so instead we choose to ignore it, try to fill the void with other things, and instead of going through the steps to make ourselves better we try to make things as easy as possible. We make excuses for ourselves and for others. Bottom line there is no excuse. You should have been smarter, you could have told them how you really felt all along, and you should have said goodbye to the people that weighed you down long ago.

Eventually you will decide to stop wallowing in self-pity. You will stand up and decide to live for yourself. You will understand that life is a constant fight and sometimes we fall down. It is not always fair and things don’t always happen in a neat and tidy way. It is messy, it is painful, and sometimes it seems impossible. It is not, because anything in life is possible if you are willing to work for it and let go of the things that you let hurt you. The only person that has the power to truly destroy you is you. If you are willing to give it all you have and then some you will not fail. We all fall down, it is those who get back up that are truly living.

Never Grow Up

I always wondered what it would be like to be and adult. What would it be like once I could do grown up things like drive and live on my own, as a child I was always in a hurry to grow up. Most kids want to be older as soon as possible. When you are little you think that being a “Big Kid” is the greatest thing in the world. Little do kids know that when you are older all you want to do is go back to your childhood. Now that I am a little older and I guess you could say wiser, all I want to do is go back to being little.

When you are little the world is full of magic. There are endless possibilities and nothing is out of your reach. You can be a princess, a mermaid, or even a professional dancer. Kids look at the world through eyes of wonder. Everything is new and nothing bad can happen. As you get older the world starts to hold less wonder, people aren’t as nice as they used to be, and dreams are for those who sleep. Little by little the world takes away some of the magic you held. Little by little you begin to realize that all of the things you believed to be true weren’t. We learned something interesting today in my Mass Communications class. The reason we take so many pictures of occasions like birthday parties and not funerals, is because when you get older you realize that the world sucks. You want to hold on to as much happiness as possible before the world inevitably takes it away. The teacher’s words not mine

Being little wasn’t all fun and games though. Remember when you hated taking naps? I am willing to bet any college student will tell you that nap time now is a way of life. Remember when you didn’t want to take a bath. Appreciate it because in college the showers actually suck. Do you remember being jealous that Mom and Dad got to go to work while you had to go to day care? Getting a job and working for your money isn’t as fun as you thought it would be trust me. How about when your clothes were magically cleaned and put away. Yeah, dream on Mom or Dad don’t have time to do your laundry. They are too busy going to school events for your other siblings, or if you are an only child taking your dog to the groomers. Let’s be honest here the cats are likely to get more attention than you, and guess what Ben, my Dad, doesn’t even like cats. What does that tell you?

All I have really wanted to do all week is take a break from college. Not because I don’t like college. Actually I love it here. I guess what I am trying to say is I want a break from my impending doom as an adult. I don’t really want to grow up, and sometimes I get really jealous that Peter Pan never did. He was smarter than all of us. Wendy well I guess she was blonde, so really we can’t fault her for being dumb. I want one week to be a kid again. Can you imagine going on a vacation where all you did was little kid things all week. I would probably call it “A Blast from the Past”, simply because it is kind of true, and really who isn’t a fan of irony?